Friday, March 03, 2006

I Must Destroy You

Lemme level with you. The whole Mars thing was made up. Or perhaps Mars was an allegory for the United States of America. Communists everywhere have dreamed of destroying America as well. And as Jean-Francois Revel would have you believe, they soon will due to inevitable advantages.

But Revel forgets that they had Elvis - a true king - to compensate for all the shortcomings of those worthless bureaucrats in D.C. What did the Commies have to distract the plebs from the Kremlin? Military parades? Yawn.

My fantasy places Canada in the role of hero against the villainous Americans. I picture us as noble defenders of the great North, a shield against the horde below, who turning their hungry eyes to our untouched lands, meet only the points of our swords and the harrowing winds of Winter.

Alas, fantasy it will remain. We emulate their bullshit culture and sell our land, our power, ourselves to them for bargain basement prices. Our horde bows to Mammon as theirs does. Our lakes are dirtied, our forests raped, our oil burned. At least the commies wasted it all on themselves.

Are you angry because the Americans came, took everything of value and now give the orders, or are you angry because you are an American and you hate yourself for it? Imagine being Canadian and being angry about both.