Monday, February 26, 2007

Elvis in 2004

Elvis Presley is a red-blooded American with a pure spirit, an honest disposition, and a generous heart. He has entertained millions with his beautiful voice, given courage to all with his rise to stardom from destitute poverty, and made us all feel safe and secure as a member of our mighty armed forces at the height of the cold war! Entertainer, warrior, brave and honorable, Elvis possesses every quality you have ever wanted in a president and more! In 2004, don't waste your vote on that dimbulb George W. Bush, and don't throw away your ballot on whatever born loser the democrats choose. Vote 4 Elvis, because he loves each and everyone of you!

Sunday, February 04, 2007

Watching the superbowl and making instant and final decisions on certain things I observe, as is the style at the time.

Jim Nance is mentally disabled and Phil Simms is smart but wrong most of the time.

Dan Marino is secretly hoping Manning goes down in history with him as the greatest QBs never to win a superbowl. He no doubt volunteered to be the talking head that talked to Manning's talking head to "psyche him out."

As Hester returns the opening kickoff for a TD, I am suddenly thinking, Didn't Ohio State do the same thing to Florida? Who won that game, anyway?

At half time, it's still anybody's game, meaning that the Colts are going to win. Like every other playoff game, they have stopped the run, won the possession-time battle and the Bears D looks spent. The Pats D, older and way more banged up, had Tom Brady to keep them in the game. Rex Grossman is not Tom Brady. I'm not even sure Rex Grossman is an NFL QB.

I've never liked Prince, and I still don't like Prince, but his superbowl halftime show was way above par. then again, par is so despicably low...

Ok, I'm back and now its the 4th quarter (I fell asleep because the game got real boring) and I have two thoughts at the same time: Rex Grossman is just outtasite awful. He's actually worse than I thought he would be. The other thought is that the real superbowl happened two weeks ago when Brady and Manning slugged it out in one of the all time classic AFC championship matches. It all came down, literally, to Brady completing one pass to the venerable Troy Brown for a critical first down. Brown cut left when Brady thought he was going to cut right. The Patriots had to punt, Manning marched the Colts down the field and fulfilled his destiny, yadda yadda yadda.

Anyway, another boring superbowl that started with a bang and ended with me falling asleep before the game ended. Will Manning be in twice as many ads next year? One can only hope. His dumb "Aw Shucks" smile is nauseatingly comforting.